Numb

I had my HSG done today. It was not as bad as I thought! Thank you, Lord! I felt a minimum amount of discomfort. I was able to go to work and did not cramp at all. The doctor/radiologist said things look normal. He said he did not see any blockage. Good news! So, if this is good news and everything looks normal, then tell me why i wanted to cry when I was told the results. I just feel like, "WTH?! Why can't we have a baby then?!" I'm feeling so numb and burned out. All the TTC stuff, demands at work, things for my thesis...ughhh. I'm tired of feeling sad and mad and upset. I'm just tired. :(

Well, on to the next step. I need to call my OB/GYN. Clomid...if that doesn't do it, on to an RE. ;)

"If you're not willing to risk it all, then you don't want it bad enough"

Hysterosalpingography (HSG)

Yes...finally going in tomorrow. I'm nervous, but I want it over with and I want to move on in the process. I'm happier this time since the hubby took the day off to take me. Crossing my fingers that I don't cramp too much after because I do have to go to work in the afternoon. I'd really rather not go in, but there is so much to be done. Work is simply a whole other issue...lol...such is life! I'll post results tomorrow.

:)
(that's a nervous smile)

Case of the Tuesdays

I really do not want to go into work today. I'm feeling stressed and not liking my new director. That's the last thing I need in life is more stress...definitely not good for baby making. I am trying to get my head out of this negative place. *sigh*

I saw this on a friend's FB the other day -

While you’re hating your life just because you can’t get what you want, someone is praying to have a life like yours.

It's sometimes hard to be thankful and content when things just are not going as planned. It's easy to sit there and cry and be upset (which I did the other day because I had to let it out). I know I just have to keep going and keep trying and keep aiming for positive change. 

Thanks for reading...needed a quick vent session :)

Go away rain

It's raining! I didn't see that coming. Well, thought I'd post a feel-good song. I'm determined to have a fun day with the hubby despite the rain and despite the fact that AF is here (a few days early). Booooo...

Just curious...

Has anyone sought help from a Marriage Family Therapist or other mental health professional during the hardship of TTC? Please feel free to share. Sometimes I feel like the hubby and I can use the help to assist us in dealing.

Thanks! :)

Simply Blessed

I'm feeling super blessed today. Life is too great to not be happy. Sure, life isn't perfect, but there's so many ups compared to the downs. For those of you off today for the Martin Luther King, Jr. holiday, ENJOY! 


Some of my fave MLK, Jr. Quotes ---


Faith is taking the first step even when you don't see the whole staircase.


Darkness cannot drive out darkness; only light can do that. Hate cannot drive out hate; only love can do that.

Life's most persistent and urgent question is, 'What are you doing for others?'

Needing Inspiration

Romans 12:12  Rejoice in hope, be patient in tribulation, be constant in prayer.


Simple, yet sufficient. 


;)

Weird Morning

So, I thought I was going to have my actual hysterosalpingogram done today. I guess this appointment was for a referral to the radiologist. What a bust! Talk about a miscommunication with the Medical Assistant that booked my appointment. Well, I am frustrated, but relieved in a way. I was super anxious this morning, but I wish it was done and over. Anyway, according to the doctor, she highly thinks that no blockage will be shown because I have no symptoms indicating that is what the problem is. She went on to say 30% of infertility is unexplained. I do not know if that makes me feel better or worse. Hmm...keeping positive...all I can do...

What I Really Want to Say

When people ask the dreaded questions about us having kids, I usually laugh it off and say we're trying or we hope soon.

What I really want to say is...

I DON'T KNOW WHY I'M NOT PREGNANT YET!
I DON'T KNOW WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH ME!
I HAVE TO DO A BUNCH OF INVASIVE A$$ TESTS AND PROCEDURES THAT ARE NOT AT ALL FUN!
I DON'T KNOW WHAT'S WRONG WITH MY HUBBY!
I DON'T KNOW WHY GOD'S GIVEN ME THIS PATH!
I'M SICK OF PEOPLE IN MY BUSINESS!
I'M SICK OF PEOPLE ASKING ME!
I DON'T KNOW WHEN I'LL GET PREGNANT BECAUSE I'M NOT A PSYCHIC!
I DON'T CARE IF SO&SO IS PREGNANT!
I KNOW I'M GETTING OLDER AND IT'LL GET HARDER!
LEAVE ME ALONE!
GET A LIFE!
F*** OFF!

Just sayin'